27 July 2006

bonus!

So, as I alluded to in the previous post, last night we found out something pretty great. Our house not only has hardwood floors under all the old, mismatching carpet (this we already knew), it has beautifully finished hardwood floors that do not need any refinishing. This means that we can already cross off one of our major move-in projects!

Today, Clark rewired a couple of electrical outlets and tore down 4 walls to their studs, in preparation for drywall tomorrow. Living with someone handy rules. I'm so grateful.

But for now, margaritas and taco salads beckon ... I will continue the scintillating construction/moving news tomorrw.

26 July 2006

Reading for Pleasure Wednesday #1: My Sister's Keeper

I have some even better house-related news than that our tenant left it really clean, but I'll give a full report tomorrow when I'm not so sweaty and tired.

This spring, I picked up the novel My Sister's Keeper, by Jodi Picoult. I had never heard of the author or the book, but the premise of the novel--parents intentionally have a third child who is a perfect match/donor for their second child, who has leukemia.

Morally, I'm very interested in issues of fertility treatments, family planning, genetic planning, and whatnot. They strike at the heart of who we are and how we identify ourselves personally and as families, so this novel was really appealing to me for that reason.

Picoult does a good job of representing the characters and their viewpoints with an unflinching but graceful gaze. The organization of the novel, in which each chapter is written from the perspective of one of the main characters, helped me empathize with their widely diverging outlooks.

In the end, the book was not wholly satisfying to me, but it did keep me up late a few nights because I got so absorbed in the story. The narrative is compelling and Picoult gets to the heart of the moral complexities rife in modern medicine in a way that feels insightful rather than educational.

moving time

It's a hideously perfect day out--sunny, not too hot, and with a gentle breeze.

We just had the final walkthrough with our tenant, who left the house spectacularly clean. I consider this some sort of cosmic recompense for all the rental properties that Clark and I have left in much better shape than they were when arrived.

Life is good, and I am ready to move into our beautiful house. Now. I know that there is work to do on the house--we want to pull up the carpeting and refinish the wood floors underneath as necessary, and Clark has drywall sheets at the ready--but can't we at least set up our bed and the kitchen?

I don't want to wait 'til Saturday. I want to start sleeping, eating, and studying for the GRE in the new house.

Sigh. That's all for now. We'll see if I can convince Clark.

25 July 2006

on the move

I guess it's that time of year--moving time. AAYOR is finally online in her new locale, complete with scorpions and lots of Targets. terminaldegree is in the midst of renovating and adjusting to small-town life in a place that sounds an awful lot like Hilly Hamlet. Professing Mama and family have arrived in Flat City and seem to be ok (but it can't hurt to visit her blog and give some love). Another Damned Medievalist is ensconced in her new hometown and is already thinking (worrying?) about the upcoming school year. What Now is wading through the existential horror of packing (I hear you, sister!) and contemplating her Exciting New Life in Exciting Big City. And Dr. Virago has left her crazy neighbors behind to move in with her beloved Bullock.

It's summer, which means that it's moving time for academics.

I've moved a lot since college (every year but one in fact), but for the first time in my life, I'm doing the "across-town" move. I've never moved locally before, and so far I'm finding it much less anxiety-producing than the numerous moves to new parts of the country I've endured.

We already have some friends, who are lending us their trucks, dollies, and hands. Hooray! We already know where all the relevant stores are located and what they are likely to carry--not much in Hilly Hamlet, but it's still good to know have the 411 on household goods for the local area. Most importantly, we already know this town and the university. And we like them both well enough to buy a house, thereby committing to at least three years here.

Furthermore, since the move is just across town, we don't have to "pack." We just have to place our stuff in boxes in a safe enough arrangement to ensure that said stuff won't break. (Besides, even with expert packing, stuff ALWAYS breaks. I've moved enough times to be at peace with this fact.)

So, expect light posting ahead, as most of this week and through the weekend will be taken up with moving and preparing for the GRE. Yep, I thought I'd up the stress a little by scheduling the exam for next week. This deserves its own post, but suffice it to say that while I can kick some a** on triangle-related questions, exponents are public enemy #1 right now.

To all on the move, preparing for the move, recovering from the move, or still finishing the move, I wish you comfort and the timely installation of internet access! Pretty soon, it'll be hard to imagine we ever lived anyplace else.

24 July 2006

overheard outside County Court

"I don't care if you're a man of the law or a judge, if you're wrong, I'm gonna tell ya."

21 July 2006

the Dark Side

Clark is slowly converting me to SciFi genre shows and movies, the best of which I appreciate for their incisive and trenchant political commentary. I am a big fan of movies based on Philip K. Dick novels—Blade Runner, Minority Report, Impostor, even Paycheck—and I’m really looking forward to seeing A Scanner Darkly when it finally arrives in Hilly Hamlet. I’m still skeptical of BBC’s new Doctor Who series, but I find myself rooting for the Doctor and Rose in spite of myself.

Battlestar Galactica (the new series) is not my favorite TV show, but I find myself enjoying it more and more. Last night, we did a marathon viewing of the first season’s last five episodes. Of course, since we began watching the series mid-way through the second season, the cliffhanger season finale was not quite so dramatic, as we already know who survives and who dies. I’m not a superfan of the series, though apparently there are those who love the show enough to apply for a Battlestar Galactica MasterCard. WTF? Am I the only who thinks that's taking things a litte far?

Every time we do a marathon of Battlestar Galactica episodes, it gives me weird dreams that don’t seem to be at all related to the content of the series itself. Really weird dreams in which I am a teenager, sort of, and there are all kinds of boyfriends (who I’ve never seen/known) and ex-boyfriends (who I do know). Nothing scandalous happens, but there’s lot of running here and there, meeting up, and hanging out. I wake in the morning feeling totally exhausted and oddly old.

19 July 2006

the tenure track, and the spaces in between

In adding blog links to my blog (for no good reason, I prefer to key folks' blog addresses into my template by hand to Blogrolling), I have noticed some things. I was noticing two distinct trends in the blogs I read.

The first is that in my "On the Tenure Track" section, a significant number of these women are starting their first year in tenure-track jobs. It's been wonderful to experience their successful job searches vicariously through their blogs, and I'm sure that following their exploits on the tenure track will be equally gratifying. Congratulations Another Damned Medievalist, Dr. Four Eyes, Professing Mama, and terminaldegree!

As for the Living Liminally, I should explain that I'm not crazy about the word "liminal." I promised that I have never used it in any of my academic writing. To me, it's like the late 90s/early 00s version of "dialectic" and other over-used, misunderstood has-been academic buzzwords.*So, I'm using this phrase somewhat tongue-in-cheek to describe people like me, people who are connected to the academy in some way, but are not on the tenure track. There are a lot of us in this position, for many different reasons, and it's not surprising that these folks' blogs make up a large part of all my blog reading. The spaces in between often have the best views.

Completely unrelated observation: I read the blogs of a number of medievalists, but it always takes me three or four tries to spell that damn word correctly.

* I used to harass a newly-minted Yale Ph.D/visiting prof who expressed a penchant for pretentious humanities-speak by openly mocking his use of "liminality" and similar words. He was so excited about his oh-so-liminal research that he didn't notice me snickering at him. Anyway, I digress.

18 July 2006

of husbands and hummus

When we got home to our un-air-conditioned house around 5:30 this evening, it was too damn hot to even exist. (Note to self: walking to and from work is better in theory than reality when the heat index is in triple-digits.) We partook of cold showers and then Clark, genius that he is, suggested going to our local Mecca of Air Conditioning and Middle Eastern Food.

The man is a genius, I tell you. I have now been totally sweat-free for three hours. In a row.

The Mecca even has free wireless, so I was able to help my friend, Overeducated Mama, locate PDFs of some scholarly articles that her university didn't have electronic subscriptions to , all while munching on hummus and pita so tasty I think there might've been crack in it. And did I mention the air conditioning?

Plus, it's $1 cone night at the local ice cream shop, so Clark got to have some ice cream, too. (I was too full from the aforementioned hummus and pita.)

Now I'm working on, I mean about to start working on, the statement of purpose for my grad school application. I'm feeling cool, dry, and in just the right frame of mind to do so, thanks to Clark's dinnertime intervention.

sultry solidarity

It is bloody hot here. As I've complained already, we have no heat in our rental house. I walk to work, which takes about half an hour. When I get to work, it often looks and/or feels like I've run a couple of miles. And now, the A/C is down in the building where I work. Unlike

I have very different duties and background than all of the other folks in my Unit, which sometimes make it difficult for me to talk with my colleagues. But, as I'm learning, there's at least one thing that's good about the heat: it provides a common experience around which me and my colleagues can talk. We talk about cooling strategies for homes without central A/C (surprisingly common in an area so prone to humidity), favorite no-cook meals, and how furry pets cope with the heat. For the first time since I've started this job, I feel like can be just a "regular" Unit employee. It's a nice feeling, even if I'm already planning to go back to school full-time a year from now.

And, the silver lining: 12 days until we move into our new (to us) house. That house has central air, thank goodness.

17 July 2006

mostly rhetorical questions

Why does it have to be such a pain in the ass to apply to graduate school?
Why did I chose to take classes at five different undergraduate institutions, making ordering transcripts an ordeal that takes weeks?
Why do I only have two good possibilities for recommendations?
Why, oh why, do GRE scores expire?
Why does it cost so much freaking money to take the GRE, anyway? What a racket?
Why did they change the GRE by eliminating the section where I scored in the 99th percentile?
Why do I need to prepare my application during the hottest week of the freakin' summer?

15 July 2006

a recipe for the season

one cold, dark movie theater playing X-Men 3 + mango lassi ice cream = summer bliss
(all the more so when it's stinkin' hot and humid, and one's rental house has no air conditioning)

14 July 2006

more than one chapter written

Even though I only got little more than four hours of sleep last night, I am feeling happy and hyper.

It’s been a long tim since I’ve felt this way, but I remember it vaguely. Clark recognized it right away when we met up for lunch—the post-submittal glow/giddiness of finishing a major research project that was interesting, meaningful, and satisfying.

It’s strange how alienated I’ve become from the good feeling I get from academic research and writing. I think that my graduate program only nurtured this feeling in fits and starts; most of the “glow” during those years was from projects I pursued independently from the program.

By the second year of graduate school, I was questioning my desire to get a Ph.D. in my Old-School Discipline. I decided to finish my M.A., teach for a year, and use that year to figure out where (both in terms of discipline and university) I wanted to pursue my Ph.D.

My first year as a visiting professor, thinking and writing about my own work grinded pretty much to a halt. Why you ask? This Boice quote from Dr. Four Eyesthought-provoking post pretty much answers the question:

New faculty tend to spend most of their time preparing for teaching (even in research universities) …

In my first year, I become totally (over-)consumed with class planning and preparation. I thought about it all.the.freaking.time. When a class session didn’t go well, I obsessed over it. When it did, I just felt nervous that the next session would be a failure. Teaching didn’t come as easily to me as scholarship, and I really felt like I was not cut out to be a professor. And, as Boice puts it,

… and when they fail at teaching, they lose the self-efficacy they need to met challenges of research/scholarship ...

In the midst of preparing brand-new courses and refreshing course content for existing courses, it was hard for me to justify the “indulgence” of my own research interests. And the more I struggled with teaching, the more time I felt I needed to dedicate to being a better professor.

Furthermore, in the fall and winter of my first year as a visiting professor, I was applying to Ph.D. programs in a New Discipline that has considerable overlap with my M.A. studies. I got into a prestigious program in comebacknikki’s city, as well as a program on its way up in SoCal. In the Spring, they both flew me in for visits and even though they were good programs, I wasn’t excited. In hindsight, I know that some of this is because the my values/interests didn’t quite line up with New Discipline. By the end of that year, I was questioning my desire to be an academic at all. When Clark got funding for a solid graduate program far away from SoCal and comebacknikki’s city, I decided to chuck the Ph.D. programs altogether and find a “real job.”

I tried to continue doing academic research and writing, but I struggled. Working a 9-to-5 job, it was hard to find the time and mental space for intellectual work. Furthermore, Clark’s program wasn’t located in a big research university. Away from that vibrant learning environment, I struggled to do the minimal research and writing that my meager publishing agenda required. By the time we moved to Hilly Hamlet, I quit doing any kind of academic work altogether. I had promised a chapter for a book my M.A. committee chair is editing, but I hadn’t started working on it.

I’m still not sure what brought me back. This spring, I learned about a Ph.D. program on campus that has interesting areas of overlap with my areas of research interest. For the life of me, I can’t remember how I stumbled onto the program, but thank goodness I did. Though it’s not one of the university’s sexiest or most-flaunted programs, I’ve learned that it’s one of the top 10 programs in its field. The faculty members are sane, the structure of the program is exciting, and the collegiality of the department is heartening. I am currently applying to the program, and I hope to begin part-time this fall and full-time in fall 2007.

This led me to get in touch with my M.A. committee chair, who promised to write me a recommendation so long as I provided him the chapter I owed him, as the whole book is due to publisher this afternoon. I received this e-mail from him on Wednesday morning.

I worked steadily Wednesday night, most of the day and all evening and night last night, and from 4 to 10 a.m. this morning. And I feel great. I feel alive and invigorated, in a way that no other kind of work makes me feel. Finishing this chapter also closes an intellectual chapter for me; the chapter I’ve written is part of a book for students and scholars in New Discipline and M.A. committee chair is a professor of New Discipline. This chapter is a strong piece of scholarship that is valuable to New Discipline, but I feel that I’ve exhausted this discipline’s utility in terms of my own research area.

I am grateful that my research area will now have an intellectual home in Mysterious Discipline.

I feel better today than I have in years. It's about time.

it's early, but ...

4.19 a.m.
I'm awake! And making final revisions to my chapter!
Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

7.53 a.m.
Substantive revisions are finished. After shower and some coffee, I will do a final proofread and be done!

12 July 2006

promises, promises

Somewhere in the back of my mind, I have known for some time that I promised to write a chapter for my M.A. committee chair for a book he's editing.

I was vaguely aware of it.

And I have been slowly collecting research and thinking about it.

Good thing, because today I got an e-mail telling me he needs it by the end of the week. And, I don't really think I can say no or back out at this point, because his e-mail was a response to an e-mail I sent asking him to write me a rec for grad school.

I have e-mailed him back to ascertain what exactly he means by "end of the week." I am hoping for midnight on Saturday.

Yup, this post officially counts as "blogging to avoid academic work." Sigh.

Edited to add: Clark did his heroic deed for the day by rescuing some relevant research/writing from my long-defunct PC.

10 July 2006

Random Bullets of Crap: where has the weekend gone? edition

I have such good intentions to post daily. But I always seem to be stymied by, well, daily life. I have been busy with:
  • A new addition to our household arrived tonight. I'm learning it's very difficult to get good pictures of an eight-week-old kitty.
  • We intended to just "look," but there was a great sale on and we were really taken with some custom fabrics, so we've ordered a couch that will look like this, but in a darker/brighter orange color:
  • We also bought a totally-not-overstuffed chair (overstuffed furniture is a BIG pet peeve of mine), as well as pillows for the couch, in this shiny red/orange fabric:

06 July 2006

Wimbledon: women's quarterfinals [warning: spoiler!]

Is this a nervous athletic tic? Maria Sharapova, either to celebrate a point well-played or to psyche herself up for the next point, juts her head outs and pushes it forward, usually repeating this motion a couple of times. All I can think is, "Man, Maria looks a lot like a chicken."

It is getting boring to watch the Belgians play. Their matches are always exciting and competitive at the beginning, and then Clijsters wilts. I really like Clijsters, but I sort of wonder about the motivation of a healthy elite athlete who, at age 22, has already pre-announced her retirement.

It is getting annoying to watch Amelie Mauresmo play, because all the commentators want to talk about are her mental struggles and when she's going to choke. Mauresmo's all-court game is actually very enjoyable to watch, especially on grass, but I so wish there was a way to mute John and Mary. Mauresmo often just goes away for a set; it doesn't mean she's a mental basketcase.

Sharapova hasn't made it past the semis of a Grand Slam since winning Wimbledon in 2004. I guess she's so pretty that the commentators just choose to not fixate on it.

05 July 2006

pre-airport blogging

Clark's 2nd flight (out of 3) has landed in that country to the north (yes, Clark ended up with a very strange flight itinerary thanks to his departmental assistant and the wonders of Expedia), and we're finally in the same time zone!

The dog and I leave for the airport about the same time his next flight takes off. Once we pick up Clark, we're going to our favorite Airport City Restaurant, which features excellent organic fare and a very dog-friendly patio, complete with water bowl.

I'm looking forward to our first family dinner in five weeks.

Note: I will not be blogging the France-Portugal World Cup semifinal, as I will be on the road to Airport City. Stayed tuned for live blogging of the final and consolation games this weekend.

divine justice?

I just heard on NPR that Ken Lay died of a heart attack. At his ritzy vacation home in Aspen, no less.

I'm not sure this is the best outcome, though. I mean, not to be all retributive, but wouldn't it have been better to see him go to jail and have his assets seized?

04 July 2006

live World Cup blogging--Germany vs. Italy

*Special thanks to 1B* for the idea of live blogging.*

1st half:
0:00
I have to admit it. I just can't root for Germany. And not just 'cause Jans Lehmann looks like my least favorite ex of all time. I mean, it's Germany. I guess I'm just prejudiced, but I can't actively encourage anything German.

20:22
I am not a big fan of Italy, either, but I like their coach, in that cute-old-man way. So far, Italy is not being the melodramatic crybabies they usually are. So I guess I'm rooting for Italy.

24:30
The "Berlin Fan Mile" just scares me.

28:15
I generally love the Puma uniforms, but Italy's light and dark blue design make their unis look pre-sweaty.

31:37
I didn't know that Lehmann got red-carded in the Champion's League final. What's the story with that?

32:24
Italy is feeding a lot of balls to Lehmann, but these aren't even good enough to be called shots.

32:50
You think there's "a little too much overacting" by the Italians? Um, dude, have you been watching this World Cup?!

33:40
Nice field goal attempt.

34:22
8 screws? Ouch.

34:54
A German newspaper put up a Web site that says mean things about Italians? See, that's why I just can't root for the Germans.

39:34
Oh! We have a yellow card. And rightfully so.

40:46
I wish Queer Eye for the Straight Guy would do a "World-Class Footballers" edition. Some of these guys could really use it.

42:50
Germany has never lost a match in Dortmund. I guess that explains why the semifinal for their half of the draw is in Dortmund.

44:03
No team wants to be the favorite, they all want to be underdogs.

45:00 +0:11
Sorry, dude, this first half hasn't been that exciting. I don't care "if the effort's been there."

2nd half:
49:37
Oh, that was close!

51:10
Dude, just because Grosso hurt himself, doesn't mean there was a foul.

52:22
I have a hard time feeling bad for Frings. I mean, really, what kind of idiot do you have to be take a hit at the opposite team after you've beaten them, in front of dozens of cameras?!? That's just Wayne-Rooney dumb.

57:10
I'm sorry but German nationalism is ... complicated. Sad but true, the German flag signifies more than just support for their football team.

62:00
Oh! great save!

64:37
I really hope this game isn't decided by PKs.

69:08
Throughout this tournament, I have thought that Italy's fitness was sub-par. I guess I'm not the only one.

71:27
That was nice of the German player to help the Italian guy with his cramp. I like it when they help each other out.

72:02
German sub. Not a bad idea.

73:49
Italian sub. This guy was born in 1982. I find that totally depressing.

76:16
I love watching corner kicks--so pregnant with possibility.

76:30
Nice save.

79:38
Beautiful bicycle kick/pass. Too bad it didn't lead to a decent shot.

80:51
Random slo-mo shot of Lehmann. What's up with that?

81:26
So what's the call going to be here, huh? Enough with the whistling, ref.
Set piece--I'm nervous.

82:10
Of course he meant to kick a better shot than that, dude.

87:33
I think we're clear on what happens regarding overtime and PKs. Thanks, though.

83:27
Who doesn't love a sub with "flaming red boots"?

84:23
OUCH! Major collision. Nothing like a flying Lehmann elbow to the face.

89:13
Good call. In my opinion, Camoranesi should get a yellow card just for his terrible hair.

90:00 +1:48
I smell overtime.

90:00 +2:57
It's a good thing that today's a holiday. Otherwise, I wouldn't have time to watch all the Wimbledon (DVRing right now) and World Cup coverage.

bonus coverage:
I love this Adidas/Jose + 10 commercial.

Overtime #1:
0:41
Oh my gosh! So close! Darn goalpost.

1:28
Italy is seeming suddenly re-energized.

1:58
Oh my! The crossbar saves Germany.

5:43
Ouch! An Italian defender literally just toppled over after being hit by the German shot.

10:16
That was just rude. And unnecessary. Just give the other team the ball and don't be so juvenile about it.

12:11
I'm sorry, but I don't think you can really compare Germany's run to the 1980 Olympics U.S. Hockey victory. But nice try.

14:24
Huge clap of thunder here. The dog has stopped watching the game and is now hiding under the futon.

15:00 +0:32
I take that back. The dog is watching the game from under the futon.

15:00 +1:02
Oh! The goalpost strikes again.

Overtime #2
16:53
Go go go go go!

17:38
Dude, they're not trying to "float" the ball, they're just too dang tired to "drive" the ball.

18:08
Duh. See my previous comment.

19:48
No matter what happens now, the outcome will be heartbreaking.

20:34
Wow. I'm surprised they're taking Klose out.

21:08
Ohhhhhhh! Great shot! But even better save.

27:27
Oy vey. Italy is 0-3 in WC shootouts.

29:36
A corner kick in the 119th minute of the game. GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAL! Oh my gosh. Beautiful!

29:53
Clark says, "Game over, Fraulines." (Yes, we are "watching" the game "together." Thanks, iChat!)

30:00 + 0:40
Bizarre!!!!!!!!!!! Another goal! GAME OVER >>>>>>> Good job, Italy!

post-game commentary:
Well, there will be no repeat teams in the final, which I think is great. Live blogging for 120 minutes is tiring, though!

does this make him a superfan?

After cleaning the house (in anticipation of Clark's homecoming tomorrow) and a long walk with the dog, I'm spending this humid, rainy holiday watching Wimbledon and, later, World Cup.

Some guy just streaked across the court in the Sharapova/Dementieva quarterfinal!

03 July 2006

back to school

Sometimes, I can think that life unfolds in the way it does for a reason. Today, I feel like there was a professional reason for me to move to Hilly Hamlet. Not just because I'm partnered with Clark, but because there is a professional opportunity here that is perfect for me.

Today I met with graduate director of Mysterious Discipline. He and I seem to be equally enthused about the prospect of my joining their Ph.D. program. His description of the program, interest in both my research agenda and nonprofit experience, and appreciation of the interrelatedness of theory and research affirmed my suspicions that this program fits really well with my values, interests, and career goals

The timing is not great, but he didn't seem too concerned. He encouraged me to apply to the Ph.D. program pronto because "you never know when we'll get some unexpected funds or a candidate will withdraw from the program." In the meantime, he said, "I want to get you started in the program as soon as possible," so I will be taking at least one class starting in the fall, while continuing in my current job. This gives me and Clark some time to figure out our finances and plan for the income hit that will accompany me returning to graduate school.

I left my first Ph.D. program after completing my Master's degree and endured a failed second search where I received good offers in disciplines that just never felt right. Now, I feel just plain relieved. Relieved that there is a place for me and my work in the academy. If I hadn't moved to Hilly Hamlet, I don't think I would've found this place.

To say that I'm completely excited is an understatement.

02 July 2006

an anniversary, of sorts

Today was the season's first *hot* day, the first day that I could feel summer in my pores. I took the dog out in the wet, sunny morning for an hour-and-a-half walk through the open fields, riverbanks, campus paths, and cracked sidewalks of Hilly Hamlet.

During the walk, I looked at my watch and realized that, a year ago today, I moved to Hilly Hamlet.

I was not excited about moving here. At the time, I was working at an international nonprofit that I loved dearly (both the work I was doing and the nonprofit itself), I had great friends at the job, I had zero professional prospects in Hilly Hamlet, and my relationship with Clark was fraying at the edges.

But, in the fall of 20004, I told Clark that if he could get a tenure-track job, I would gladly quit my job and move with him. And get a tenure-track he did, in a year when there were a lot of openings in his particular subfield. So, I honored my promise, quit my job, and moved to this little college town I had never even visited.

A year later, things look so different. Clark and I are closer than we've ever been before and our relationship is as solid as it's been in the last six years. We have begun to settle into this town, buying a wonderful house. I've found a job that, though I'm not extraodinarily passionate about it , I seem to be good at and is not painful for me to do.

It's been a good year.